Microsoft Sam
- Name: Sam Alameda Freeman
- Age: 24
- Gender: Male (he/him)
- Voice: Himself
- Personal Quote: "Born and raised in the richest part of Champion City... and yet I end up here."
- About:He's Generally well-meaning, but has a hot head when things don't go his way - which is often. Has a crush.
Microsoft Mary
- Name: Mary Celine Logans
- Age: 23
- Gender: Trans female (she/her)
- Voice: Herself
- Personal Quote: "Have we tried turning it off and then back on?"
- About: Mike's girlfriend, and tech advisor. Frighteningly good with computers, so is usually asked to poke at ZIRA's innards.
Abby Lalonde
- Name: Abbylee Star Lalonde
- Age: 23
- Gender: Female (she/her)
- Voice: Adult Female 1
- Personal Quote: "I'm a fuckin' concrete wall."
- About: One half of Laskede, she's not entirely part of the shield crew - though provides music for TEMI.
Kev Allister
- Name: Kevin Pryor Allister
- Age: 22?
- Gender: Male (he/him)
- Voice: Adult Male 3
- Personal Quote: "You, me, and a halfpipe under the stars."
- About: One of Guy's boyfriends, and a skateboarder in his spare time (even if he doesn't look the part). Acts oddly cagey when the demons arrive - and nobody seems to know why.
Lucien
- Name: Lucien
- Age: ???
- Gender: Male (he/it)
- Voice: RoboSoft 2
- Personal Quote: "Yes, glorious Mother of Horns..."
- About: Although thought to rule the Nether as Materada's equal, the truth is much simpler: Materada rules his life just as she rules everyone's life in the Nether.
Overseer ZIRA
- Name: Zoltek Interactive Reaction Apparatus
- Age: 11
- Gender: Female (she/her)
- Voice: Microsoft Zira (+10)
- Personal Quote: "Systems online!"
- About: The main computer of the Tower, ZIRA provides the crew with their objective each day. She's technically an outdated model, but she's kept chugging well beyond her end of support.
Vanta Black
- Name: Vanta Black
- Age: 21
- Gender: Male (he/him)
- Voice: Paladin Danse
- Personal Quote: "I melt in the shadows so y'all aren't intimidated."
- About: The owner of TEMI, and a rarely-present force; he'd rather have ZIRA handle the heavy work of managing the others. Despite his lazy attitude, he still enjoys being in the studio and spending time with his employees.
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Microsoft Mike
- Name: Michael Baurus Freeman
- Age: 23
- Gender: Non-Binary (they/them)
- Voice: Himself
- Personal Quote: "Don't be rude, Sam."
- About: Sam's younger sibling, and the one who takes the most time to perfect their work. Always analytical, they have a hard time figuring out why the bloopers are so funny to everyone else - though, everyone thinks they'll grow to like the bloopers just like everyone else.
Radar Overseer Scotty
- Name: Scott Leia Shelds
- Age: 21
- Gender: Trans male (he/they)
- Voice: Adult Male 1
- Personal Quote: "Camera's rolling!"
- About: Works with his twin brother to manage the shield and text. Doesn't get why Sam and Mike get so frustrated when Mary and the others all like them.
Lee Wesker
- Name: Leela Wesker
- Age: 22
- Gender: Trans male (it/its)
- Voice: Adult Female 2
- Personal Quote: "Let's go."
- About: The other half of Laskede, it helps produce and release the music that it and Abby create. Loves Abby to death, and would do anything to protect her.
Guy Shields
- Name: Guy Fawkes Shields
- Age: 21
- Gender: Non-Binary (he/they)
- Voice: Adult Male 5
- Personal Quote: "Shield's rolling in!"
- About: Working with his brother to complete the intro, Guy's place is at the computer - or, if he's a bad mood, flopped feet-over-head on the couch watching TV.
Materada
- Name: Materada Despair
- Age: ???
- Gender: Female (she/it)
- Voice: RoboSoft 5
- Personal Quote: "I am your Mother, and you will respect me."
- About: The immovable, de facto queen of the Nether. She commands respect, whether you like it or not. She's got eyes and ears everywhere in the Network, though primarily causes problems in the Mojav area.
- Name: Sidney Green
- Age: 23
- Gender: Male (she/her)
- Voice: Adult Male 8
- Personal Quote: "You two need to relax."
- About: The smart one in Guy's polycule, she's the one who keeps Kev and Guy in check - and she may know more than she lets on.
The Higher
- Name: THE HIGHER.
- Age: ???
- Gender: Male (He/It)
- Voice: Microsoft Catherine (-10)
- Personal Quote: "You misunderstand. I'm as much of a human as I am a Dragon."
- About: It has no information available at this time.
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